I wouldn't say I handled it humanely, more like...I didn't handle it at all.

[You know, whatever THAT'S supposed to mean.]

The moment I got its slimy paws off me, it took off like a crazy bear. I don't think you'd blame me for not going after it...

[As someone who's been lucky enough to not run into any grimers or muks on his journey, the comment about smell seems to throw him off.]

You know, I would've never imagined purple to be a stinky color... Are you sure he's not just grape flavor or something?